


pity party

by maliciousmuke



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Blood, Borderline Personality Disorder, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Michael, M/M, Sad Michael, Violence, luke helps michael
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 09:58:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4783163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliciousmuke/pseuds/maliciousmuke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>michael has borderline personality disorder. luke is always there for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pity party

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: okay so this includes borderline personality disorder, and slight mentions of blood and violence. if i think anything could be even remotely triggering, i try to warn you all. i would hate to hurt anyone. 
> 
> but this is kinda cute in the fact that luke never leaves michael like everyone else. 
> 
> btw this is inspired by pity party by melanie martinez, and you can buy her album 'cry baby' [here!](https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/cry-baby/id1020518191)

michael looked at himself in the mirror, hating everything that he saw. he was all messy hair and dark circles, his pale skin making him look like a vampire. god, he was sick of seeing this every time he looked into a mirror.

he sat criss cross on the carpet of his room, gazing at his reflection in the full length mirror. his face was blank, eyes dull and mouth unmoving. he looked like a ticking time bomb. maybe because he was one. 

michael was angry. angry at himself for being the way he was, and angry at the world for being so unaccepting of him. he hated the way people rejected him, and he hated the way he just let it happen. he never tried to change, to be a better person. he just stayed fucked up and loud; he stayed the way that no one wanted him.

he knew it was going to happen soon. it always happened when he felt like this. michael had borderline personality disorder. whenever he was feeling particularly sad or angry or unwanted, he’d ‘switch’.

it was like watching from the sidelines. michael knew what was happening, but it didn’t feel like he was doing it. he’d watch himself do things without being able to stop, and it was worse when there was no one around. like right now. 

michael tried to keep calm, pulling out his phone and trying to text luke. he had to tell someone, so they’d come get him before he did anything too rash. his text was spelled awfully, but he figured luke would get the message.

it read: luke coem ovre its hapenign

luke lived fifteen minutes away, ten if he drove quickly. the ‘switch’ was inevitable, and michael knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it on his own. 

michael stared at his blank expression for a few more seconds, and then it wasn’t blank. and the room was no longer silent. and michael was no longer sitting peacefully. 

he was up on his feet, watching his arm swing and break the mirror. cracks formed a spiderweb figure from where he’d hit the glass, and his hand was bleeding. he was screaming, screaming things that he didn’t understand from where he sat in the corner of his own mind. 

he watched his hands pick up a book, throwing it at the wall. he yanked on his hair, and he kicked a wall. a small hole formed where he’d hit it, made by the toe of his black combat boot. michael knew his foot would hurt later. 

michael tore things up, making a terrible mess of his room and ripping the blankets and pillow from his bed. his favorite one broke open, the feathers flying around the room. he screamed, louder this time, and his throat felt like it had gone up in flames. he would have no voice by the next day.

michael swung his hand at his lamp, watching it fall to the ground and listening as it shattered to pieces. he punched his wall, adding a hole above the one made by his foot. 

he kicked the mirror to the ground, jumping up and down on it and watching the glass pieces flew around the room. he screamed out a ‘fuck’ and fell to the ground, glass digging into his arms and back. 

michael started to sob, angry that he’d destroyed his room. luke would be over in just a minute to see the mess he’d made. luke would help clean it up, and he would tell michael that it was okay. but it wasn’t, and it never would be okay. 

he sobbed and sobbed, glancing around at his wrecked room and having his own little pity party. michael’s entire life seemed like one big pity party, new guests coming in to celebrate with him and then leaving when they got bored of his insane screams and loud cries for help. 

and then luke was there. he cradled michael in his arms, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. michael could control himself again, curling further into luke’s warm chest. 

he felt useless. like he could never do anything right. michael wondered why luke had yet to abandon him at his pity party, why he hadn’t left him in the dust yet. he was too afraid to ask.

“i’m sorry,” he croaked. “i’m so sorry.”

luke shook his head lightly, eyes fluttering shut as he rocked michael back and forth soothingly. “it’s not your fault, mikey. it’s okay, i’m here now,” he whispered. “i won’t leave you, baby, you have me forever.”

michael rubbed his eyes, shaking slightly in luke’s hold. “i love you,” he mumbled. “can we take a nap, lukey?”

luke nodded softly, standing from the floor with michael still in his arms. “we’ll sleep in the guest room, yeah? i’ll help you clean this up later.” luke spoke softly, knowing michael’s head must be pounding after all the screaming and shouting. 

luke gingerly set michael on the fluffy bed, removing his combat boots and skinny jeans. he tugged michael’s shirt over his head before kicking off his own clothes. 

“can i have your shirt?” michael spoke up, luke nodding and picking it up from the floor. it was black with the vans logo, and the hem fell to michael’s mid thigh. it was warm, and michael huddled under the comforter as luke crawled into bed next to him. 

“get some sleep, mikey,” luke mumbled, pulling the smaller boy to his chest. “i love you, okay? remember that, baby.”

“i love you, too, lukey.” michael curled into luke’s chest, letting all his worries fade away as he focused on the beating of his lover’s heart. 

michael knew he was lucky to have luke, and luke was lucky to have michael. they’d never let go of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> you can leave feedback via the comments or my [tumblr!](http://www.maliciousmikey.tumblr.com/)
> 
> thanks for reading! you can leave any requests in the comments if you like! (ps: i'm running out of ideas pls help)


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